The things you hear in a day....

Being a classroom teacher puts you in an interesting and entertaining position in your day to day life.  This is because you are surrounded by children all day long. And, in my humble opinion, children are hilarious. Below are some of the hilarious things that I've had said to me as a teacher, or heard from other teachers.

• Shelby, a reception (kindergarten) student comes up and gives me a big hug at the end of the day. She says with enthusiasm "I love you Heather!" With a smile on my face, I reply "Oh, thanks Shelby! What a nice thing to say." Shelby "Oh, don't worry. I say that to everyone!" She skips off, without a care in the world.
• A male Year 1 student is leaning on a table, breathing deeply with a pained expression on his face, while the rest of the class is going out for playtime. Teacher goes up to him and asks 'Are you alright?' Student replies, between deep breaths 'Oh Miss...I hit my bits!"
• A Year 6 students are handing in their homework.  A student doesn't have theirs. Me: "Why don't you have your homework to hand in Dylan?" Dylan: "My mom didn't put it in my bag. I'll talk to her about it tonight."
• The teacher is attempting to get the Reception class lined up to go to the hall for lunch. She announce to the students "We are going to play Simon Says to make sure everyone is lined up nicely." Hope, a student at the front of the line says to a student behind her "I'm really good at playing Simon Says. It's because my grand dad's name is Simon."
• I'm looking through some magazines with Nursery (JK) to find pictures to add to a collage. Isabelle points to a picture of a blonde model, points to it an says "She looks like you Heather. Only you've got more spots, don't you?"
• A Year 3 student is in the library area trying to pick out a book for quiet reading. He appears to be frustrated, and does not have a book when the rest of the class is inside reading. Teacher "Duvontae, can't you find a book to read?" Duvontae "Nope...*shrugging shoulders *... they're all fucked."

This is only a small sample of the witty remarks I've heard since being in a classroom since September.  I'll do by best to keep track of particularly funny remarks in the future to I can do a follow up post on this topic. Laughter is the best medicine, right?